If you are dating and are not happy with the dating process, or if you are not dating and would like to be, perhaps you should take a hard look at what you want in a date. There are women/men who will take anyone they can find, but if you want someone who is truly a companion and enjoys life with you, then you need to be an interesting person to be around.

So the first dating tip is: "Be interesting". Second, think about what your dream date likes to do. If you want someone who shares your interest in photography, then join a club or take a class in photography. This can be an opportunity to naturally move from common interest to dating. If it doesn't end up in marriage or a long term relationship, you've still enjoyed her company and vice versa.Third, attention to details is important to a woman.

These can be details like remembering her favorite food is chocolate and bringing her a single chocolate morsel chosen with care. It can be the small points of courtesy like a protective arm on a rain-slick pavement. It can mean being sensitive to romantic settings which please her or to sexual practices which make her uncomfortable.Fourth, a sense of humor is always appreciated. That rarely means telling off color jokes, or jokes with heavy sexual innuendoes. Jokes that demean others (even your ex) are not funny.

Unless you are both in the same business-in which case dating may not be a good idea-don't talk business on a date. If your only interest is to talk about yourself and your business activities, you are a very one-sided person and shouldn't start dating until you can focus on some other topic.One final tip-know when to begin the date-on time, and also when to end the date. A woman who has been waiting for you to arrive for 15 minutes is not going to be relaxed and smiling when you arrive. Tardiness is rude, and is not acceptable for either the man or the woman. At the end of the evening, know when to say goodnight and leave. That is also a subjective thing, but she may be giving you some hints if you are observant enough to read them.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


The people we attract to ourselves in life match up vibrationally with some energy we're projecting. Attracting the right kinds of matches into your life then requires first and foremost accepting responsibility for the people you do attract. And taking responsibility for the kinds of people who show up in your life entails taking responsibility for how - you show up - in your life, inside and out. Change your vibrations, change what (and who) they attract.Love is an energy - one we foster from within.

When we access that energy of love from within, we project its vibrations outside of us; in our actions and in our being, we come from a place of love. This invariably attracts that same energy of love into our lives, for example in the form of other people to love who are also loving us. One of the problems people have in getting the love they want is that so much of what people call 'love' isn't love at all. Often it's attachment: to the other person, to the relationship looking the way you think it should look, or even an attachment to 'drama'. Other times it's fear: fear of loss, fear of not being worthy of love, or one we hear a lot, fear of being happy, which really just amounts to more fear of not being worthy of love and fear of loss.

Some sages say that people 'crush' love like a bird in the hand when you hold onto it too hard, and while the image may be apt we prefer to say that when you cling to love you detach from it. If that sounds like a paradox, you're catching on. Clinging to love out of attachment and fear disengages you from the love itself and grips you to your attachment and fear. As does clinging to your ideas of what love should look like when and if it ever does come. Love is an energy. It cannot be gripped any more than you can grip light; you can only be bathed in it, or shut yourself away in the dark. But the light is there nonetheless, and right outside the door. Love flows, and to have the relationship of your fondest desires, let the love flow through you and from within you.

Rather than focusing on fixing the problems in your relationship (or your utter lack of one), engage in the flow of love and watch the problems (or lack) dissolve. Change the circumstances, situations, and conditions you find yourself in by allowing yourself to feel here and now the love you aim to feel for the new circumstances, situations, and conditions. The perfect relationship with another person comes from nurturing a perfect relationship with yourself; in other words: loving yourself fully and unconditionally as you are, and appreciating yourself fully for all the love you have inside to give.

No comments: